Ritual Confessions

February 17, 2008


Filed under: Uncategorized — elissakaren @ 6:04 am

Today, as my husband was bungling an attempt to parallel park in a very tight space, he said, “Oh God… this is like a job gone awkward.” Somehow this made me laugh for an unseemly length of time. I get an endless kick out of the expressions he makes up. What I find especially endearing and amusing is his tendency to inadvertently modify American sayings. A few instances that come to mind are:

“I wasn’t really serious about that, honey. I was just pulling your tail.”

“It’s like looking for a needle in a black hole.”

My recent favorite is something he said to David Rochester in his capacity as our realtor before we ended up buying in Vancouver (where David’s not licensed). Before we fell in love with the house we live in now, we were very interested in a house in Milwaukie that had a lot of charm but also presented a lot of problems. There was no bathroom on the main floor, for one, and it had been advertised as having three bedrooms where only two were viable. If we had taken it, we would have had to spend a lot of additional money to make it workable. So we came in with a bid dramatically beneath the asking price. As David was about to put our low-ball offer on the table, my husband advised him: “Play the poor flute.”

“Nick,” I said to him later. “You can play the poor card, or you can play the skin flute. Generally, we don’t speak of playing the poor flute.”

My husband considered this. “What’s the skin flute?” he asked finally.

“Well… think about it for a second.”

“Oh,” he said a moment later, his face actually flushing with comprehension. “Got it.”

Bonus anecdote:

On another occasion, I asked him, “Nick, how did you get so handsome?”

He appeared to give this a moment of real thought before answering, as if truly venturing a guess, “I don’t know… Chernobyl?” 



  1. I’m still laughing over “I was just pulling your tail.”

    Comment by davidrochester — February 17, 2008 @ 6:56 am

  2. LOL. I am sitting here cracking up! I love the “It’s like looking for something in a black hole” best of all! I think I love Nick!

    Bonus Comment:
    A long time ago, when my now 17 y/o was about 2, I asked her, “Susie, why are you so pretty?” She answered:”Because I look like my mommy!” Priceless!

    Comment by Corina — February 18, 2008 @ 12:40 am

  3. “It’s like looking for a needle in a black hole.” Brother, have I been there!

    Comment by Shawn W — February 18, 2008 @ 5:09 am

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